Hello everyone! Hope y’all had a fun and safe Labor Day weekend. It was blistering hot here in Tennessee. For some reason we thought it would be a good idea to go to the Knoxville Zoo at 1:30 pm… in the prime heat of the day. Regardless of the tremendous amount of sweat dripping off our bodies, we had a good time. Of course Hadleigh didn’t really pay much mind to the animals, but she did enjoy the people watching. I also had my first experience nursing in public! And no one stared, pointed or whispered behind my back! (at least I think).
After the zoo we attempted to watch the Vols game at Buffalo Wild Wings since Brendan had a gift card. There ended up being an hour and a half wait, and the second we walked inside Hadleigh had a complete mental breakdown. It was a blessing in disguise. So we opted for a fun tailgate at home with stale wings from the grocery store and some cheap beer, with a happier baby who got to nap. It really is crazy how much our lives have changed in just a year. We used to revolve life around activities that were fun and convenient for us, but it is now geared towards what is fun and convenient for the baby.
Speaking of change. If you have been following me or know me then you know that the past year has been huge for us. We have gotten married, moved to a different state and had a baby…all in less than 365 days…CRAZY! Well, if you thought that we would be too exhausted to possibly have anymore big change in our lives anytime soon, you were wrong…
No, I am not pregnant.
BUT, we are looking to move, and it will probably be in another state.
It’s kind of a long story of how we got to this point. Basically, when I first went back to work after maternity leave, Brendan heard whispers about a potential job opportunity that required us to move for a year near a new job site. The opportunity would have allowed me to stay home for up to a year with the babe. Our hopes got up because it would have been in a really fun town and I would have been able to be home with Hadleigh for her first year. Unfortunately, that job opportunity fell through, leaving Brendan and myself feeling a little defeated. After all the excitement of thinking I would get to stay home with Hadleigh, I realized that is still something I want. Brendan still has an opportunity to transfer to a new office where he would be getting paid a little more, and I will probably get a part time job. My sister, who moved in with us in June to watch the baby, decided she wanted to move back home to Maryland and go to school. So, instead of putting Hadleigh in daycare, I am hoping to find a position where I can work weekends.
A lot of this is still up in the air, but my last day of work here in TN is September 13th, and we will most likely be moving in late October. So much is still undetermined. We still don’t know where we want to end up planting our roots. I still don’t know what type of nursing I want to do. We don’t know how we will make it work with me spending more time at home with Hadleigh. Our lives are constantly changing.
I’ve always been the restless type, as long as I can remember. Changing my mind has been a curse but also a blessing in my life. I refuse to settle into a life that does not feel right. Knoxville was fun, but having our baby definitely changed our desire to stay here. And Brendan and I both don’t see us raising our family here. We are pretty far from relatives, and neither of us are completely satisfied with our jobs. I feel like it is part of my duty as a wife and mother to make sure we are both happy so that we can be the best parents for Hadleigh. Finding out where and what that happiness entails is part of the journey.
Sometimes it feels like we are animals in a zoo – trapped in a cage with everyone staring at us, waiting to see what we will do next, waiting for us to have the answers. What I am quickly learning as I journey further into adulthood is that this is life. It will always feel like a zoo. What’s important is that through the craziness we have each other. And I wouldn’t want to live in any other zoo than the one I am living in now, with the ones I love the most.
And the adventure continues.